I wanted to create a world in which you felt as if you were watching very real women. Most of the women I saw on TV didn’t seem like people I actually knew. They felt like ideas of what women are. They never got to be nasty or competitive or hungry or angry. They were often just the loving wife or the nice friend. But who gets to be the bitch? Who gets to be the three-dimensional woman?
This quote from Grey’s Anatomy creator Shonda Rhimes perfectly sums up all the reasons I love Meredith and Cristina’s relationship and why they are friendship goals.
Meredith and Cristina are professionally competitive without being passive-aggressive about it; they don’t foster ulterior motives. Does that mean they always get along or agree with every decision the other makes? No. But it does mean they can disagree, they can even fight about it, and they can move on. Once forgiven, the issue is dropped; they don’t hold onto it for ammo in future fights. And they don’t hold back. They know their friendship is unconditional; there’s nothing they can’t forgive.
Meredith and Cristina have sleepovers. Not the kind you usually picture, though: there’s no manicures, no facials, no pillow fights and no sappy romance movies. And they don’t have them for fun – they have them when they’re sad. They have them because sometimes you need that person who provides you with comfort just by occupying your same space. Often, there’s tequila – sometimes too much of it. And there’s dancing, the kind you do when no one’s watching. Meredith and Cristina are comfortable with each other because they accept each other; they don’t have to pretend to be anyone other than who they are.
One of the most quotable and iconic lines from the show has to be some version of the “you’re my person.” But more than being the person the other would call if she needed help burying a dead body, being someone’s person is a responsibility that neither Meredith or Cristina take lightly.
When Cristina let Burke shape her into someone she didn’t recognize, Meredith didn’t stand in the way. Instead, Meredith was there to bring her back from the edge when Cristina realized it was over, to help remind Cristina of who she was before Burke took over.
When Meredith was ready to give up on the city, hospital, peers and friends she loved most in order to follow Derek and his dreams to Washington, Cristina was there to remind her that she once had her own dreams. Cristina didn’t tell Meredith what to do, she just reminded her of who she was.
As Friendship Goals
Meredith and Cristina are best friends because they don’t try to be. It was almost assumed from the moment they first met, and they just accepted it, much like they accept each other: irrevocably and unconditionally.